GOLD STAR MOTHERS

By:  Charles Moran

One of the most sacrificial journeys I have seen taken is that of a Mother. They literally stop their lives as they knew them and begin a new life, each day. Each day, complete and confident.

They seemingly step into a new life and just take over and begin.

They begin their new lives with a new boy or girl and with a man they "love".

In the years gone by, the man was the "Head of the Household". The husband's job was to work to financially support the family. It was clear who's duties were who's. All of the inside chores belonged to the women and the outside chores belonged to the man. The bill paying was the husband's and the marketing was the woman's. If the woman was unable to do her job, the household would fall apart; or in some cases, never get started. When the household fell apart, nothing could be accomplished.

To think, that the women did all of this "work" with great aplum and dexterity is a fantastic thought. Raising a family to a woman seemed second nature to them. For some reason, men found this task implausible and virtually impossible. But, that was yesterday's man and wife.

Today's man and wife and far more modern. The man and woman split everything equally; household chores and the workforce. The financial reality in today's society is that both husband and wife have chosen to work. Yesteryear, if the couple could not afford a neighborhood, they would move to a place they could afford. Today, the children go to daycare and the parents work longer and harder hours. It really is a different world and I have heard that the lifestyles are changing back to more couples marrying and collecting less "things" in order to "stay at home" with their children, rather than leave them in daycare.

Women are miraculous human beings. They give and give and often give too much for anyone's good. Then they find more to give, and give more.

What they give the most of is the most precious commodity any of us have to give, and that is time.

Mothers give time to their children, and wives give time to their husbands. Both are given all day and as the night is long. And it is not until the lights are off in the house, and the last alarm has been set, that a mother's and wife's day has come to an end, for that calendar day, anyway.

The women go through their day, moving the family through their day. Ensuring food, clean clothing and a healthy dose of Mothering and teaching.

They do all of this with no prior education, no instructions, no manual. Just a schematic of the dream picture in mind.

Women, are believed to dream more about their domestic futures, than men do. They have been caught with many a crayon-sketched-dream-dress on their desks; whereas that is not a normal drawing for a boy. Girls have also been known to write and write and write and write their first name with a boy's last name; upon engagement this ritual becomes almost somewhat compulsive. Yet, it is what women and girls have done for centuries.

Women, think, dream and act to the best of their ability, especially when it comes to their children.

They marry the man of their heart's content and have children, often practically all in one swoop.

While they are still hanging up their wedding nylons the harsh reality of their new responsibilities come in loud and clear.If a woman was unsure of what was expected before they were married, the husband and wife quickly find out who has to do, what, and who is in charge and responsible for what.

Remember all of that? Falling in love.Preparing to be married. Not knowing what to expect or what to expect of your mate? For most, it was a difficult time figuring out what was what.

Yet the women kept it going. The meals, the clothes, the children off to school, the meals, the clothes, and on and on it went.

The women were the anchors.

The men, the life boats that were tested everyday.

The women perpetuated the family's beliefs. The family's values. The family's ways. They just did it; that was all there was to it.

The women are our children's first teacher. They are their first Doctor, nursemaid and nanny. Women are the most integral aspect of the fabric of the family.

They can make a good man great and a great man fall.

Women can, and do, every day, and most waking moments of their lives, think and plan their lives and days around their family. They plan for lunches, they plan for college, they plan for grandbabies.

Then one day, one decision, one signature, one moment can change all of that. All of the thoughts, all of the dreams, all of the lunches, just stop.

Imagine the worst, then imagine your child or your husband has been killed, while in the service or while in the line of duty.

But you are of the living and must continue. You must give up all that you have imagined the future to be. You must face the grimmest of realities.Your life has changed. Only this time, you have no schematic in your mind. And your heart is so heavy and lifeless, you feel as if it should have been you.

No matter, the woman must endure. The man continues to go to his traditional job, and he wears that face of "everything's okay". But inside, the modern man, shows his emotions a little more, and it's a little more acceptable.

But back in 1917, men weren't such a sought after commodity of the family unity. It was believed that the men could handle morbidity better than women.

So, the Government, in all of its caring wisdom, and I genuinely mean that, for there are certain situations, especially during acts of war, that give Government a heart as big as the Earth and as good as gold.

In a Congressional Act in March of 1929, the Government began a heartfelt pilgrimage for the Mothers and Wives who lost their husbands in war and during military service.

The Government recognized the need for the women to see their sons and husbands in their final resting places. The Wives and Mother's were also given a choice of whether or not to have their men shipped home or left in the European cemeteries. Either way, it was the Government's way of saying they understood the need for grief and understood the woman's need and love for her men. Actually, Government documents reveal that the Government believed that the lack of access to their dead may lead to mass hysteria and morbidity, but no matter. Thousands of wives and mothers were able to make the pilgrimage set up by the Government. And for that, the women were grateful.

The Government's requirements were simple, if your man or child was in the military or naval forces and died in the service between April 5, 1917, and July 1, 1921 you were eligible for the all expense paid, two week excursion. Over 6,000 by the end of 1933, when the program ended, took that very pilgrimage.

Women are courageous and resilient.

The question now becomes, what has become of the Gold Star Mothers and Wives.

Well, the group absolutely still exists.

Although the group began in 1917, in 1982, a group of Gold Star's organized into the national organization, the American Gold Star Mother, Inc.

The group is solely funded by donations and dues and is eligible for specific funding from the Veteran's Fund, as the group is directly addressing and related to Veteran's and their families and issues.

The group has approximately 200 chapters and welcomes any Mother who lost a child in all wars, from WWI to Saudi Arabia to certainly today's war against terrorism, any woman may join hearts and sisterhood with the American Gold Star Mothers, Inc.

They even have their own "home". As a matter of fact, it is an outstanding facility, referred to as the "Manor" in Long Beach, California, which houses about 350 apartments for American Gold Star Mothers.

Gold Star Mothers and Wives are women who have endured a different type of loss, for their loss may not have been, had their spouse or child not "joined". But the call to serve in the Forces is a very personal choice. And with all decisions, there are consequences.

But with these consequences, comes respect and camaraderie.

With the decisions the women's loved ones made, so they too made lifelong decisions for their most devoted woman.

The women of the Gold Star organization are filled with pride, patriotism and love. They hold honored and responsible the duty and fulfillment that resonates within them since their tragic occurrence.

These women have genuinely made lemonade out of lemons. Through their efforts they have comforted not only one another through this most difficult time, but also countless others.

The group received their name from the common "gold star" and blue stars that families hung from their doors and windows, and even the blue and gold stars women wore on their armbands. All in honor of the serving and deceased veteran who's memory occupies that home.

The Gold Star Mothers are a group of women all are proud of, but no one schemes or dreams of becoming a member.

They are a strong and resilient and commendable group, long may they wave!

---

Add this page to your favorite Social Bookmarking websites